Christmas Bashing

The war against Christmas gifts has started. You and your girlfriend Polly Pons struggle mightily every year to choose the ideal gift for one another. You gave her a diamond pendant this year. I'm sure you'll prevail this year! Well, lover guy, don't go too fast. Now Polly is bringing you a gift that just cannot be topped. She's tying her step-sister to your bed and presenting her to you. You truly lost the battle, holy sh*t. However, it feels wonderful. Put on your virtual reality goggles and enjoy this ultimate Christmas trio—the Best. Gift. Ever.